Wednesday, December 24, 2008

This is all I can do…

We all bring different things to the table. Me, well sometimes I question if I actually offer anything. Well if you have missed my last couple of days read this because you don't know my dad died 3 days ago. Honestly it feels like at least a week. I feel like it was forever ago when I felt his foot on my forearm as I helped the funeral home get the gurney down the steep steps of his house. Tonight our church had its Christmas Eve gathering. My close friend and pastor told me it was cool if I wanted to not play tonight. Honestly I didn’t think it was going to be possible for me to sing tonight, then I thought about it some more. See I really think I am blessed to have gotten the best qualities from both of my parents and one that I got from my dad is that I don’t suck at music. (My dad was good)I really don’t think I am a great musician but I enjoy it. I have always said what I lack in talent I make up for in passion.

Well tonight I played. I got a text from a very kind friend that said if I was going to play then I needed to “play my f-ing ass off.” (I didn’t type out the f bomb because I think some moms that might read this might feel strange reading that on my blog.) That’s what I did. I have 4 guitars. One of those guitars is a 1962 small-bodied Gibson. The sound is a bit tinny and strings can get lost in each other while strumming with any kind of force. I have only led with that guitar twice. Once was when I broke a string and the other was I wanted a more tinny sound for a song. That Gibson has played with Buddy Holly and Johnny Cash when it belonged to my grandfather. It was passed down to my dad and now to me. What a great thing to have passed down, huh? Last night I decided what I was going to play for the prelude. I played the song ‘deliver us’ written by Andrew Peterson. So, tonight instead of playing my other guitars I picked up the small-bodied Gibson and took the stage. Just before walking on to the stage I said to Mark my sound guy “be ready Mark, I am yelling on the prelude.” He looked at me and smiled and said “I know, I heard you practicing in the room over there”.

The sound clip below is the recording of tonight. It is rough and right out of the board. This was me honoring my dad by doing my best to honor God with the Gifts that we shared. So here is me being vulnerable with the world. This is me playing my f-ing ass off. You can tell as I strum harder and harder as the song goes on.
For you dad…This is all I can do…

Click here for 'Deliver Us'

Monday, December 22, 2008

The longest day of my life…

At 9 am this morning my heart broke. I heard these words “Aaron your daddy died.” Yeah at that moment I think my heart stopped in disbelief. At 9:10 I found my self in the car heading to my dads house to help take care of stuff. I wept. I wept, screamed, moaned and wept some more the entire drive down there. I got to my dads house and with a great amount of disbelief I walked in the door. We all hugged and wept some more. Then I went and said goodbye to my dad.

Here is a bit about me and my daddy:
My dad always answered the phone with excitement “hey baby boy!” I loved that! I can hear him say it now and ache that its just in my head.
My dad really loved me. he didn’t have to tell me that all the time I knew it in how he talked to me and how listened.
My dad was crazy handy. He really could fix anything.
We used to listen to James Taylor. I probably listened to his greatest hits 1000+ times over the summers we spent on the lake. It was the only tape on the boat so that’s what we listened to.
He thought I was funny. Maybe that’s not a big deal to you but I love to laugh and my dad and me always laughed. Our sense of humor was always similar.
My dad loved my boy. He lit up when he saw my little man. I loved seeing them play together.
I love the smell of pipes even more now since dad is gone. Dad smoked a pipe in my 1st car before I got it and every time I cleaned it would smell like his pipes.
My dad loved hearing me play guitar. He always said I was better than him, which was CRAZY! He was very good at guitar until diabetes stole that from him.

So, I stood over my dad today weeping. I didn’t know what to say. I said a bunch of different things. But before I walked out I said in a whispering scream about 10 time “may my daddy rest with Jesus today.” It wasn’t to be super spiritual I really said it out of complete desperation. See, I don’t have much else to hold on to. Some how in my head I think Jesus is the only hope I have to deal with this.

I will probably write some more at one point or another but tonight I write to say: I ache, I weep, I long for my dad, I scream and I really really miss my daddy.

Check this out

We have a great friend that has started a new business. They make handmade jewelry and honestly it's incredible. So this is me publicizing her stuff. Check out Katie Gro's (soon to be Katie McDaniel) stuff here.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I will see this in May

I will probably see this with Matt, Camille wont be to interested.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Do you need Africa?

So i still haven't followed through on blogging about my last month. seriously i will be doing that soon.
i wrote last week about Africa, and what the mocha club is trying to do. below is some stuff they have asked me to throw up concerning Africa.

When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. ( For me, Aaron, its Gro with Bueni, Ryan and a mango tree meeting church, orphans singing and dancing, stories of taking kids to the doctor to find out they have aid, Jason playing drums in a village, ryan and chris on a safari, kids in an orphanage needing clean water, and honestly my list can go on and i haven't even been there) From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. “I am needed here,” I think. “They have so little, and I have so much.” It’s true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in the people. It’s a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.[read more]

Honestly, what breaks my heart about this is that 450 BILLION dollars is spent of Christmas in America alone. that averages out to about 900 bucks per family. if we all cut our Christmas budgets in half we could change this world forever. so my question to you is can we really change on our own?
we need the power of a risen King to do that. My pryer is that this Christmas God will make a change in us. one that will last a lifetime. one that isn't motivated by pity but the grace and compassion that we have received.